9.02.2009

The Axe: Bail Out Johnny


This is something that I needed to get in before the football season starts. I knew a kid in high school who’s favorite team changed every year, we called him Beetle, I don’t know why, but we did. The Ravens win the Super Bowl and Beetle dawns a Baltimore jersey and touts that “the Raven’s are my team, man.” Next year the Patriots take the Lombardi Trophy and the next day he’s wearing a Brady Jersey exclaiming that “I’ve always been with the Pats. I knew it from the beginning of the season.” Not only was this Beetle a bail out Johnny football fan, but he’d do the same for the Yankees, Red Wings, Spurs, and practically every major sport. This is a prime example why so many people hate the major franchises, because guys like Beetle hop from team to team in order to claim false bragging rights.

There’s no problem with liking a team because they’re good, but that’s the way allegiances START. Once you’ve found your team, you need to stick with your team. There are exceptions to every love, but most of us have ties to teams from our childhood. I’ve been a Kansas City Chiefs fan since I was 5 years old. Very few fans have seen more mediocrity and disappointment in the last 15 years of the NFL than KC Chiefs fans, but they are still my team and I will always be their fan. Even after their worst season in franchise history, I am still their fan. Even after they traded my all-time favorite player, Tony Gonzalez, they’re still my favorite team and I hope they go to the Super Bowl. I know they won’t because I’m not “Irrational Fan,” but that’s a topic for another Axe.

A fan CANNOT dump a team because he knows that they’re going to be bad. That is against the unwritten fan-code that puts your forever in Beetle status. My respect for team hoppers is so low, that I seriously wish they would just stop watching sports all together and leave the real participation to people who understand the definitions of honor and loyalty. Do you have to hate everyone else in order to love your team? Of course not, I root for the Saints because I once hung out with Reggie Bush and I like Drew Brees. But if the Saints face the Chiefs, I’d better be rooting for the Chiefs to win by 42 points. Never leave your team. Never abandon ship. If your team’s going down, you go down with the ship. Whether you go down gracefully or kicking and screaming is up to you, but never trade in your team’s jersey for a Beetle costume.

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